We seem to be addressing John McCain's reluctance to lean on the religious right as if it were a bad thing. There is more to a candidate's policy than how he or she - excuse me, he swings his faith across the plate, right? Instead of heightening the differences between the president-elects, perhaps we should focus on their commonalities. Both McCain and Obama want troop withdrawl from Iraq and Afghanistan, and neither want to see a conflict with Iran. Who's plan is better?
We scream in disappointment when "they" get something right and cheer with stupid glee when "they" fuck up. No one wins when it is our own that are losing. Perhaps John McCain see that. Maybe that's why he's not whoring himself to the press like the Huckabees, Romneys, and Clintons of days gone by.
Rolling Stone magazine printed a quote recently from a FOX News tech about McCain's campaign activity.
During a smoke break, an action given overt attention by the reporter, the propagandist lackey says, "Presidential-election campaigns, usually you're working all the time." Smoking seems to be the stamp of rugged intelligence in the world of numbers and letters. Authors, journalists, and shag-rag twits would have us believe tobacco and nicotine are the fuel of assertion. "But McCain does one event a day. One event. It's unbelievable."
Is it? We have been stapled as a nation notorious for jumping to conclusions. Eight years of Jack Wilson aggression has given us quite the international reputation. This year however, things are different. Americans would rather watch and wait for a screw up than slap the opponent in the face, call them a fagot, and ready ourselves for a retort.
The media doesn't seem to notice that McCain is playing the waiting game as well. What is really giving them the creeps is that he hasn't let them in on the joke. And with this joke, there are two possible punchlines:
McCain is so confident that Republicans and middle-class, white America will vote against Obama he is simply taking it easy. A well-rested attack dog is more useful during the fight rather than the preemptive. That's the happy ending McCain's 957,113 supporters (approximately - that's a scientific figure you can't argue against) are hanging on for.
But will McCain deliver that lovely spray in the face, or something more in the Andrew Dice Clay/Steven Wright spectrum? Here's number two:
McCain is posing in front of German fudge shops, taking questions in the aisles of super markets, and missing his mid-day nap to throw out the local laundromat softball game because...are you ready for this one - HE DOESN'T CARE.
McCain couldn't give a mother fuck if he wins this so-called race. The tortoise always beats the hare, but not if the tortoise can't get away from a "Who's the Boss?" marathon on TV Land. How's that for a punchline? It's surprising that no one has recognized McCain's apparent idiom. There is no emotion in his words when he speaks about bettering America. He paces the stage like Chris Rock on downers and waves his arms like a mannequin. For Christ's sake (but not really), the man has a catchphrase - "That's not change we can believe in." Where's the fucking rim-shot? Snare and high-hat save us!
The worst part of this anecdote is the realization that those of us in on the joke must come to. We cannot wait for the next zinger, nor can we shift through back-catalogues of material for our favorite bits. All we can do is complain that the man hasn't become more progressive, hasn't touched on new material or gone for a new demographic. What happened to the controversial talent we saw taking on gay marriage, the deficit, and taxes five or eight years ago? An artist is only as good as his audience.
What does that mean? Tough titty - that's what that means. McCain went from the Great Red Hope to Bush's Bitch over the course of a decade. Tough. It's your fucking fault. Having that second drag of the mutual joint, you sat by and maintained that your vote didn't matter. You read Hunter S. Thompson because you thought tripping balls is cool, not because he eulogized America in a tangent spat of brilliance. Meanwhile, the good doctor killed himself because he saw what was coming. He called Nixon's treachery, the reign of Reagan, and the downfall of Bush the 1st. Goddammit, he was right about Junior.
There is nothing you can do about the present. There is nothing you cannot do regarding the future. Joe Strummer said that the future is unwritten, and we need to recognize that. The light is stuck at yellow and it needs us to turn it green. The stoner dumb-fuck is right in his sentiment of apathy. Our votes don't matter a shit in the broader scheme of things. The corporations can ignore them. The electoral college can smile at us while they hand the crown from one corrupted schitzer to another. But they cannot ignore our voices. They cannot ignore our actions.
For the record, a bumper sticker is not a voice. A t-shirt is not a voice. Fuck your fashion and need to belong. Those who are noticed are not the ones wearing the same sunglasses or pants, or the ones singing the same songs, or the ones cutting their hair the same. Tell your mayor to look at their city and find ten things worth celebrating. Write to your congressman and let them know that you are ashamed of them. Call into the local news-station and scream "FUCK YOU" as loud as you can. Make some noise and I swear you will be heard.
Right now, I know the old man at the microphone is not a comedian. He's not funny. But I can't help but laugh at everything he has to say.
"If ignorance is bliss, then wipe the smile off my face." - Zach De La Rocha
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